Being A Husband, To Be A Father...

Wow. The feeling to have the first baby is really making me unrest. My Mom keeps telling me whether I had bought this and that. For the first time in my life, I went to shopping mall to look, to choose and to buy the tiny wearings, diapers, and all of the accessories for my future little one. We go to the maternity clinic once per week now and the baby could come anytime. The baby is OK, alhamdulillah. I hope that the process is smooth and easy for my wife, the baby and for me.


Eventhough I have asked many things here and there about the maternity since the beginning, there is always some points or details I miss. To facilitate the baby delivery, everyday (8-9 months) we start to use the "Minyak Selusuh" (Selusuh oil). It is made by using the Kelapa Hijau with certain method. Since it is really difficult for me to found the Kelapa Hijau, Cikgu Raouf, one of elder Gayong Gurulatih, kindly gave me a cup of Minyak Selusuh. Most of the people is confused about the "Kelapa Hijau". It is definitely NOT a young and green coconut that we can find easily at the market or at the Gerai Air Kelapa. The Kelapa Hijau (literally as Green Coconut) has a pink buds at the top of it, while the normal coconut has the yellow buds. Thats small part is actually the leaves will develop. The first time I saw the Kelapa Hijau when visiting Ustaz Zahari (elder Gayong Gurulatih) and Cikgu Sani Morni (Gayong Master) at Selangor.


Air Selusuh (the Selusuh Water) also is prepared, to be sipped when it's the time to deliver the baby (about 5cm opening). Yesterday's visit to Cikgu Raouf's house allow me also to learn the post-delivery action that a husband must do. How to prepare the bath for your wife with the seven, nine or eleven herbs and flowers is the first time I heard about it. Other things that she must do like "Bertuku" (Put a stone on fire for a while, then wrapped it in a cloth, then massage the stomach with it), "Bersalai" (Resting on a wood bed frame while hot charcoal underneath it), wearing the Bengkung (large cloths to wrap on the wife's body from little bit under the breast until lower part of the buttock), drinking the Turmeric, Heena and other plants' extracts and many more traditional healing to help the woman to recover her health, rearrange her reproductive system, burning the fat, slimming the line, produce a healthy milk for the baby etc.


And never forget to clean the "Uri" (plasenta). Although wrapping it with white cloth (or pillow sack) in a coconut shell (with nails, needles etc) after cleaning it with the salt and Asam (dried acidic fruit) is just a tradition ritual, the Islamic scholars insist that the plasenta is a part of human body, and must be treated honorably. It's the baby's twin and the mother's body part. From soil we came, and to it we return. After cleaning it, it must be buried in the earth. Some told that it must be in a place where people pass by. Normally the midwife will do this, but who knows if I have to do it myself!


Adat Melenggang, which is done normally during the 7th month and up is forgotten by most of the people nowadays. Many people thinks that it is 'khurafat" or "bidaah", without knowing exactly what it is. It is a tradition ritual, done by a Bidan (midwife), to check the healtiness of the woman and the baby, his/her position, and even his/her sex by doing the traditional method. Some even move the coconut on the stomach to devine the sex! ;) It is true about the "suspicious" rituals during the Melenggang, but most of Bidan nowadays aware of which is khurafat and which is Islamic method in doing the ritual. It is a question of searching a good Bidan after all. After the ritual, it is continued with the Hajat prayer to ask for the easiness and safe for the child birth. InsyaAllah.


I write this article mainly to reply the question of one of Gayong sister in France who is interested of knowing what is the Malay tradition regarding the childbirth. Hope this will satisfy your request. Well, sorry for this non-Silatrelated article. It's just a bizarre feeling, the mix of anxious and excited feeling that surrounds me! Pray for us so that everything is good insyaAllah... Amen! ;)